CAN YOU PLEASE STOP TALKING

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DAILY DOSE By Bikram Vohra

You know they have these psycho tests where they give you word association and you respond and then the analyst works out where the worms in your mind are and how they are wriggling.

Bikram Fish PsychLike are you bananas or psycho yourself or a potential serial killer, misanthrope, whatever.
I was thinking if they gave me the word telephone my first response would be ‘get off the bloody phone, I got your point.’
Every one of us had this experience of trying to end a call with a person who keeps stretching it like chewing gum on your shoe, it just sticks. You keep saying uh huh and hmm and great and yes, of course, we must get together but that person won’t let go, he or she keeps prattling on. You say okay then must get together will call, lovely to hear you but they won’t get off the line. They keep talking. They keep talking. They damn well keep talking and your capability to end it is sliced like a mango.
Lovely, yes we must meet okay then, great, wonderful ,good, good, let’s discuss it another time, bye now, no, no, can’t make it Wednesday, sometime next week, right then, nice talking to you, no, she is fine, on,not travelling, so good to hear from you, you have said what you wanted to now go, must talk again, yes it had been a long time, okay then…what, oh the children are fine, yes, yes, I have been good too, busy,busy,busy ,you know that is, hahahah, okay then nice talking to you, yesyesyes I will send you my email, oh I am so sorry your mother in-law isn’t well (she is 93, tiger, get over it) okay take care, great speakin…yes I have your number, I have put it under ‘contacts,’ no I will not forget it (and if you don’t get off the flipping line now, I will kill you) so nice of you to call, take care, no, this summer we aren’t going anywhere, oh, you are going to Spain, how nice for you(please stay there) a whole week, isn’t that wonderful, no haven’t met the Roys for a long time(how can we if you won’t get off the line) uh oh, call on the other line, have to take it, wish we could talk longer, yes, I’ll sms you their number…right away, I promise, I promise, now get off this line.
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