A Chief Minister in his labyrinth

Delhi Chief Minister Mr Arvind Kejriwal in Punjab

Bikram Vohra on Delhi Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal’s 12-day Vipassana Yoga which includes Mouna Vrath

Delhi Chief Minister Mr Arvind Kejriwal in Punjab
Delhi Chief Minister Mr Arvind Kejriwal in Punjab

This is so unfair, it hurts and not only when you laugh. Delhi Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal is taking a 12-day vipassana in Nagpur at a retreat where he will meditate (?) and observe silence. Does anyone get a grasp of the mayhem this could create?

Twelve days of silence could cause chaos in the nation. For one, Modi might be compelled to speak out and fill the deafening silence. Secondly, Lt Governor Najeeb Jung could suffer a bout of post-traumatic stress disorder when he wakes up in the morning to face serenity.

The BJP will feel like residents of some war-torn zone who suddenly discover the guns have fallen silent and are disoriented.

The only logical reason why Kejriwal is doing this is to wreck everyone’s happiness. The media, for instance, will be so badly hit that they might have to retrench staff as TRPs/sales fall. Reading a newspaper or site with nothing from Kejriwal is akin to a chicken patty without any chicken in it.
There has to be a trick in this, some new gambit that we haven’t worked out yet. On Thursday, Kejriwal, pointing at his chest, said that Modi was holding the gun and plotting to kill him. Today, he has decided to trot off to a sanctuary and find solace in his inner self.

That is the scary part. If his outer self is anything to go by what could his inner self possibly be made of and what, if in these 12 days he locates it and imposes it on all of us.
By 10 August, the lost segment of the self could be found and activated and we won’t know what it is.

There are para-psychologists all over the country today searching for the elusive answer; what could Arvind Kejriwal’s inner self constitute?

Would you not be wary if you were the PM or the BJP at large at this new turn of events?
Perhaps Kejriwal’s inner self has a vision and has called on him to up the ante. Maybe he hears a voice guiding him to new frontiers and greater battles. Maybe it will tell him to get rid of his muffler or worse, add saffron robes to it.

They say the idle mind is the devil’s workshop. What about the recluse, the solitude, the isolation, the distancing from the material world… does it add up to the same thing? But all this is mere fluff compared to the real issue and if I had to advise the prime minister I’d recommend a mini-emergency. No one has thought this out but what if Kejriwal finds his inner self and decides to bring it along back to Delhi. We’ll then have two Kejriwals to contend with and even Narendra Modi is only human.

Also, keep in mind that when the inner self manifests itself, it might be a nice, constructive, sensible, balanced fellow then where will be… like Kramer vs Kramer it will be Kejriwal versus Kejriwal.