DAILY DOSE By Bikram Vohra
So I read this ad for an editor and it says they want a dynamic guy with 10 years experience. I have 45 years which means I am batting at 400% and when it comes to dynamism you should see me whizzing about on the badminton court. Human dynamo is me.
It says I should know English which means I can say Is-lington, Gloster, Grov-ner and Chumley (Cholmondeley).
They want the applicant to be adept. I am so adept I scare myself. I can also adapt. Like, if I am speaking American I can say Yosemiteee, Po-toe-mac, Too-saw and Arkansaw, so there.
The ad also calls for someone with imagination, the ability to design and layout and give headlines.
That sounds so much like me. I give headlines like you wouldn’t believe it. I have made several hundred thousand layouts all the way to the paper moon. My imagination… you don’t even want me to get started.
Then it says I should have the ability to write. I should think so. I have written 22,000 articles in print not counting DAILY DOSE.
It also says that I should be a good leader, capable of creating team spirit and a sense of togetherness.
Man, that’s clover. I am a natural born leader, journalists just stampede to be on my team, like I am the Delta boss of the fourth estate, our spirit never flags, we are so together you don’t need superglue.
Then it says you have to get on with the management.
Damn. I knew there was a catch somewhere.