Daily Dose by Bikram Vohra

You don’t have to listen to me, kid, said 2014, the young never do, but it’s tough holding out all year, even beauty queens have easier reigns. 2015 stuck his pin in his diaper and said, hey old man, but you better get going, you have a plane to catch, hope you have your one-way ticket. And he laughed the laugh that only the arrogance of youth can produce. The old man nodded sadly and wisely, as old men do, and said, twelve months ago I was spanking new and full of hope, I had plans and ideals, I was going to go out there and holler, `Enough’, and I was sure the world would hear me. 2015 gurgled into his milk bottle, pulled out his pacifier and said, you, listen to you, just look at you, old, dishevelled and dirty, washed up, stained with blood and gore, what a dismal, depressing figure you cut, you messed up old man, now hit the road, you’re all washed up.

I tried, said 2014, bent with age, I really tried, it’s just these human beings, they aren’t easy to handle, you have to watch them all the time, they kill for sport, they lie when it suits them, they say one thing and then jump the other way, they make treaties they don’t honour, promises that collapse, they wage wars against each other, they don’t only shoot horses they shoot little children, they pollute, they devour, they waste, you think I became like this on my own, you should have seen me last December when that silly man  2013 left the stage, there I was, a shining vision, and millions of these humans kissing my diaper end, tickling my tummy, laughing and dancing, ah it was a sweet moment, they loved me, they truly did. Yeah, yeah, yeah, said 2014 through his toothless mouth, blame these humans, that’s the easy way out, look at them out there, preparing for me to arrive, you couldn’t find a bunch of better folks, they have love in their hearts and they sing my praises, you are jealous, you silly old fool, because you failed. Look at the money they will spend on me tonight.

It is the illusion, you little tyke, just the illusion, they have no love, they will use you and suck out your minutes and manipulate them, they will tear each month off your calendar like limbs from a body, without a thought and suddenly, you will discover you have run out what you are—time. Watch them, he said, they are wily and yet, at times they are fraught with possibilities. Man holds in his hands the power to abolish all forms of human slavery and human injustice. Sure, said the kid, and the power to abolish all forms of life, I have heard that before, I did my homework, mister, don’t you worry about me, you take your blunt little scythe and hike it out of here, gosh, isn’t it exciting. But 2014 hung in there. I am not going a second before midnight, he said, so don’t push it, it’s still my ballgame and you better believe it But 2015 was not listening. He was too imbued by the sounds of music and the whooping welcomes, rather like Caesar into Rome.

Be careful, said 2014,otherwise you could be one of the last, I have no axe to grind… Scythe, said 2015, it’s a scythe. Whatever, said the old man, wheezing a bit, just wise up to this, they are bent on mayhem, their self-destruct mechanism is on max and they don’t know it, in that lies the danger. Pah, said the kid, you just watch me, Pops, I’ll have them eating out of my hand. The old man smiled a sad and tired smile, picked up his bag and said, just so long as they don’t bite it off as it feeds them. Then he walked away. And the kid, he clapped his hands and shouted, okay world, let’s get this show on the road… and we’ll do it my way.