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WHAT SORT OF A STAFFER ARE YOU?

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Daily Dose by Bikram Vohra

office-on-roadThe next time you hear someone say, “but that’s the way we’ve always done it” suggest you take him for a long one way walk. It must rank as the most annoying cop out available for avoiding doing something. The award winning Urdu writer Quratulain Haider once said that anyone who says we’ve been doing something the same way for five years has been doing the same thing for one year five times over. That sort of observation should stay in the mind. Because it is a signpost to the profound amount that can be achieved by the individual. To be able to espouse change indicates a lack of strategy, to find sanctuary in a groove is to be static. Yet it is such a favourite ploy to look back instead of around the corner and see at least the shadow of tomorrow.

In every functional hierarchy people slot themselves into identifiable little pigeonholes and then carve their careers according to their  proclivities. See if you fit into one of these categories and then realise that perhaps because you are so imbued by your work ethos you have become calcified in your job and this is why you are not getting ahead.

The Assessor

We are looking into the matter and processing it. After that we will make a feasibility study on the need for the requisitioned material and then get back to you. But it has been three weeks since the application was made!! These things take time, they cannot be hurried.

The Buck Passer

Not my department, are the lyrics of his song. It never is his department or his problem or his responsibility and he masters the art of passing it on, often tagging on enough jargon to fog the issue. He will say, “I thought the DG (Ops) was to initiate it with the DyRM (Purch) and forward it to the Regional CPR (Sales) so where does my section fit into it, if we had known we’d have done it with pleasure.

The Innocent

No one told me, is this fellow’s plaintive wail, I didn’t know, if only we functioned on systems this would not happen, in fact I am going to raise a stink about being left out, my team had some very good inputs, if only someone had thought to ask us.

The Protector

Sorry, not in our brief, we don’t do this sort of thing, not our job, doesn’t come under us, why not try R and D, we can’t take the responsibility, yes, I know we are the same company but I am not authorised to make any decision outside my area.

The Bossman Yesman

I cannot say or do anything till the boss returns. We have to get his okay first for everything, even casual leave, too bad if you think its crazy, that’s my job and that’s the way I do it, if he doesn’t give the okay the file doesn’t move. The file’s become a flipping fossil, your boss has been out of town two weeks, nothing is happening.

The Procrastinator

Come back next week, call us on Wednesday, sorry, not ready yet, it is in the pipeline, we are waiting for a clearance from Finance, no, I cannot give you a sure date, we are doing our best, there are things to do, you know.

The Hindsight Expert

I had a feeling it wouldn’t work, I warned you but no one would listen.

Mr Busy Busy

He always gives the impression of being harried and overworked which is why he does nothing, just keeps swirling paper about and dashing off half memos and unfinished letters and his desk is cluttered and he has perfected the art of froth largely because there is no substance and you will see him dashing about briskly looking so important and yet the end result is a big fat cypher.

The Liar

I told you, of course I did. You didn’t. I did, it was on Wednesday don’t you remember, we were coming down the stairs together. Liar. You didn’t tell me. I did, in clear, specific terms, come on accept it. No, you didn’t, if you had I would  have ensured the work was done.

The Honest

And then of course the only honest one of the lot. The one who says, I forgot. And there is nothing you can do because his honesty is his armour.